1) Oh my gosh, did you draw that?
Yes, I did. I'm doing it. Right now. It's not that unbelievable. Artists aren't unicorns that shoot talent out of their nostrils and only come out once every equinox hauling a cart of paint brushes. I get asked this same question every time I draw in public, and I will say something between a polite "yes" and a sarcastic and rude, "no, I shot this out of my butt and I'm tracing it with a pen." It depends on how many people have asked that same thing between the time you came by and the time I started drawing that.
2) Wow, I'll never be that good.
That's not a compliment. It makes me feel like a terrible person for making someone give up on art.
3) Can you draw me?
No. I will not draw you if you ask. I might POSSIBLY have drawn you because I choose to be nice, but the moment you ask me to, I'm not going to. I simply cannot draw somebody that exists. I'm free-handed. I don't use references. Not all artists are the same.
4) Can you draw me this/that/whatever?
I draw because I love drawing. I do not draw for the sake of your enjoyment. Yes, I will take requests from people I really, truly know and I love them enough to put effort into something for them, but I'm not drawing for some person. Sorry, but I'm not entitled to you.
5) Can you teach me to draw?
No. I cannot. I've taught myself how to draw. It's taken years. This isn't something I can teach you in a day. Sorry, don't get all butthurt if I tell you no, either. I don't know how to teach you in a way you would understand. Even if I DID teach you, you'd have to give me money. I don't see your math teacher working for free, so I won't either. I also am a human who needs money. Thanks.
6) Your prices for drawings are too high.
Actually, they're not. I personally charge a fairly low amount. I'm giving you a DISCOUNT for time I could be spending with my friends, lead from MY pencils (which are expensive), ink from MY pens (which are VERY expensive), and frankly, I can't afford to be giving away my supplies to you. You don't have to buy my work, and I don't have to waste my supplies on you.
7) I'll pay you later/give you my half of the trade/etc.
No you won't. Either you do it on the day we schedule/plan, or it's no deal. I even gave you the luxury of not having to pay BEFORE I started on the picture, which I would have done in the first place. It's happened enough for me to know that you're not going to pay me. Ever. I'm never going to see that money.